Recovery... what is it ?

  Recovery... what is it ?
copyright starman_uk (AEST) 1997 to 2005

Throughout this site we talk about recovery quite often, so it would be helpful if I explained what I mean by recovery. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done, as it is far more complicated to answer than, say, recovery from a broken leg. Childhood sexual abuse robs us of so very many things. To a large extent, recovery is about recovering that which we had taken away from us, and giving up those things given to us that we did not deserve.

Each person's idea of what they expect from recovery will be different, and each person's recovery will be unique to them. That said, there would be many aspects of similarity. It is important that your aims remain realistic throughout, although you will be able to update them from time to time. For example, if you could not swim, then it would be unrealistic to want to swim the English channel tomorrow. It would be realistic to start swimming lessons. Later that could be updated to going swimming on your own once or twice per week. Eventually you may be able to swim a long way, possibly even swim the Channel.

Unfortunately there are very few books on the subject of males who have been sexually abused. Those that are tend to have been written by therapists, aimed mainly at therapists. Although these books are a great help to victims, it is my hope that by writing this booklet, and sharing what I have learnt, that I may be able to make the journey a little easier for those that are to follow.

Recovery will always be an ongoing process. Whilst there will not be a point where you can say to yourself, "I have totally recovered", you will find that your life will change to the point that the brain washing effects of childhood sexual abuse will no longer control you. You will regain the freedom to choose for yourself. Once started, recovery can change many aspects of your life, in ways that it will be difficult to go back on.