Myths about male rape, the rape of men
By Starman_uk (A.E.S.T.) ©
2004 This page was last
updatedSunday, 11 May 2008
There
are numerous frequently accepted myths about male rape and in all
probability more so than there are about female rape. These myths have
the effect of minimizing the gravity of the crime, and the
accountability of the perpetrator.
These myths
about male rape also have an effect on the way men think about
themselves when they have been assaulted, and, sadly, the way those men
are treated by many other individuals.
Understanding the facts about male rape can give the male rape victim
the strength to counteract their fears and, we hope, will enable more
men to ask for the information and counseling support that they so
rightly ought to have. Knowing what are the myths and facts about male
rape, may also help others understand how to respond to those male rape
victims.
Here are a few of the facts about, and
some of the most frequent myths about male rape and men who are raped.
Myth: Men can't be sexually
assaulted. Reality: Men can
be, and are, sexually assaulted every day. Any man can be sexually
assaulted regardless of their size, strength, appearance, occupation,
race or sexual orientation. Male rape can happen at home, work, out
doors, in your car, in the military, prisons, in locker rooms, rest
rooms, public toilets, in fact just about anywhere a rapist thinks they
can get away with it, and it can happen to any male.
It should also be noted that it
is not unusual for a male to "freeze" during a rape, in part due to
shock, and fear of ones life. Remember, the rapist will no doubt have
done this before, and hence be prepared for what happens, but few, if
any men, have even considered in their mind the possibility of such
things happening and are thus totally unprepared.
Myth: Only gay
men are sexually assaulted.
Reality:
Although gay men are raped slightly more often than heterosexual men
this is due more to the fact that they can be the target anti-gay
violence, that often includes acts of rape, plus that gay men are at
far more risk of date rape attacks from other men.
Heterosexual males can be, and are, also raped in very large numbers.
An F.B.I. statistic put the number of males that will be raped as an
adult at 3 %, a number most organisations think is very underestimated.
Of this 3%, over 40% identify themselves as exclusively heterosexual.
Myth: It
is only gay men that sexually assault other men.
Reality: The vast majority of
men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual.
This fact helps to highlight another reality, that is, that sexual
assault is usually more about violence, anger, domination and control
over another person, than it is about lust or sexual
attraction. Myth: Adult men cannot be sexually assaulted by
women. Reality:
Although the majority
of perpetrators are male, (97 to 98%), women can, and do, also sexually
assault men. If you include emotional blackmail as a way of giving the
victim no choice, then the number greatly increases. Also don't think
that if a woman rapes you that you have to penetrate her, there are
such things as vibrators that she can use on you as well.
Myth:
Male rape victims don't suffer as bad a female rape victims, after all
they do not risk becoming pregnant. Reality: All
rape victims suffer in many different ways, some responses are gender
specific, some are not. Male
male rape frequently involves higher levels of violence, weapons, and
is also more likely to involve multiple assailants.
Male rape victims are also more at risk of committing suicide as a
result of rape. As for the risk of becoming
pregnant, no male rape victims do not run that risk. However anal rape
does have a much higher risk of internal tearing and damage, and with
that comes a higher risk of possible HIV transmission. ( also see ptsd
and rape trauma syndrome ) Myth: Most rapists are
strangers. Reality:
Whilst many gang rapes and acts of anti-gay
violence are committed by strangers, most rapes, like in women, are
committed by people known to the victim. They
may be a friend, neighbour, boss or a relative, father, uncle,
co-worker, brother or ex partner. They
could also be a trades person, or a professional e.g., a doctor,
teacher, psychiatrist, police officer or a public servant. One worrying
increase is in the amount of rapes during robberies, muggings and house
break-in's in an attempt to stop the person reporting the crime.
Myth:
Getting an erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means you
"really wanted it" or consented to it.
Reality: This is
one of the things that can cause male rape survivors a lot of confusion
and guilt when they do not know how things work. For a start I can
honestly say that getting an erection shows nothing other than your
body responds how it is suppose to do. It is a totally normal
thing to happen and has nothing to do
with desire. Have you never been on a bus, or sat in an office meeting,
and it has gone hard all by it's self for no reason ?
Basically,
unless you have some medical condition that stops you then you will get
an erection when it is manipulated. It is a result of stimulation, and
it does not matter if you do not want it to happen or not. There is
little you can do to stop it most of the time. Sadly,
some males become confused and think an erection equals arousal equals
them wanting it. In reality all it means is that part of the body has
nerve endings that respond to touch and that touch can be wanted or not
wanted, pleasant or non pleasant. With lubricant you will have even
less choice as to how it responds to touch. It is the same as the body
will respond to someone tickling you and you will probably laugh, but
if it is done at a time or by a person you do not want to tickle you it
will still respond. If you
were penetrated, the pressure in the prostate gland (see diagram below)
also will cause an erection. Anyone who has ever had a DRE
(short for Digital Rectal Exam) of the prostate at
their doctors will know that getting an erection often happens during
the examination. Now as far as ejaculation goes,
again this is a very normal thing to have happened. In fact, the rapist
will very often go out of their way to make sure that you do ejaculate,
in order to try to make you more ashamed, (adds to their dominate
feeling of power) and also they know it will likely reduce your chances
of reporting the crime. First off, it is because it is a normal
reaction to stimulation. Second, the pressure on the prostate will, by
it's self, release some fluid, making the penis more sensitive to that
stimulation. In fact, it is possible for a doctor to obtain a semen
sample during a DRE. Pressure on the seminal vesicle will likewise
release a lot of fluid, and could resemble ejaculation to some extent,
although may feel different.
| Seminal Vesicles: Two
glands which provides about two-thirds of the fluid which makes up the
semen. These are located to the left and right of the prostate. Output
of the seminal vesicle mixes with the sperm from the vas deferens and
flows through a duct which then passes the fluid through the prostate
to the urethra. |
One other thing to remember, is
that ejaculation against your will, and an orgasm when having a wanted
sexual encounter are, two totally
different things. Myth: Rape in Gay
couples does not exist. Reality: Rape in
marriage or any relationship, straight or gay , can and does often
occur. Through physical, psychological or emotional coercion, some men
are forced by their partners, to engage in unwanted sexual acts,
including oral or anal sex. A spouse, or partner, boyfriend can be
charged with the rape of their partner in many countries now. The law
recognizes that a spouse is not the property of their partner, to be
used sexually by them. Gay relationships deserve the same recognition.
Myth: Male rape only happens in prisons.
Reality: Rape
does happen a lot in prisons, there is no doubt about that. In fact, in
the USA, it is said that there are far more male rapes every day in
prisons alone than there are rapes of all females in the USA. However,
males are raped outside of prison every day of every year, in their
homes, cars, at work and just about anywhere. Male rape also happens in
the military and armed services as well, collages, universities, and
all sorts of places.
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