Fear of other people's motives

Fear of other people's motives is understandable when someone grows up not knowing who to trust. Abused people often have very low opinions of themselves, and find it hard to accept that anyone would want to know them. If someone is friendly to the male survivor, he will often be puzzled as to why someone would want to know such an ugly, bad person, [or what ever other messages their abuser gave them], and will often be sure that it is for a sexual reason. Even if the friend is understanding and kind, with no sexual overtones, the survivor would rather believe that it is out of sympathy, rather than because someone could like them as a person.

This also explains why many survivors find it difficult to accept compliments, or gifts. The brain washing effects of the abuse has taught them that they are unlikable, for what ever reason their abuser told them, that the person paying them a complement is either after something or they do not mean what they are saying. "If you really knew me, you would not like me", is another common reaction, though it is usually unfounded. People tend to like someone for what they are like now, not what they were like.

Fear of other peoples motives can also make the survivor tend to be rather paranoid at times. As a survivor grows up, the need to keep their secret often means that they will have few friends. If someone becomes too friendly, the survivor will often unconsciously push that person away. This is done partly due to the need to keep the secret, and partly because of the general lack of trust survivors have in other people.

The fact that the survivor does this pushing away unconsciously means that from the survivors point of view they have lost another friend. This only reinforces, to the survivor, that they are un-likable, and that other people will always let them down, hence the survivor becomes rather paranoid, always looking for signs that someone is out to hurt him, or that a friend is turning against him.