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There are many possible long term effects that
childhood sexual abuse can have on a person, and among any group of
abuse survivors there are always people who will react in
totally different ways, that, at first can seem to
contradict each other. I can not list all of the effects
due to there being so many possibilities. The following
list is NOT a score list, and if some effects that apply to you
are not on here, it does not distract from the fact that
it is how it has affected you.
Intense
nightmares
|
Flashbacks
|
Guilt
|
Depression and
Bad Days
|
Shame
|
Self hate
|
Feeling a
failure
|
Fear of fear
|
Seeing no way
forward
|
Fear of men
|
Fear of women
|
Low self-esteem
|
Fear of
authority
|
Often feeling
"used"
|
Need to feel in
control
|
Jealousy
|
Fear of other
people's motives
|
Anger (or fear
of your own)
|
Agoraphobia
|
Fear of the dark
|
Unable to say
"no"
|
Sleep problems
|
Self harm &
cutting
|
Eating disorders
|
Unreasonable
self blame
|
Feeling suicidal
|
Drug abuse
|
Drink problems
|
| Lack
of emotions |
Isolation |
Fear
of sex |
Prostitution |
| Masturbation
problems |
Feeling
lost |
Sexual
identity problems |
Relationship
problems |
| Trust
problems |
Feeling
different |
Unable
to cry |
Always
crying |
| Inability
to plan ahead |
Financial
problems |
Panic
attacks |
Sexual
dysfunction |
| Unable
to take compliments |
Fear
of hurting other people |
Always
asking WHY ME? |
Need
to be perfect |
| The need to
please other people, for fear of losing their
friendship. |
Need to find
some way to push away those that become too
close, or mean something, to you before they get
a chance to reject you.
|
Feeling "if
people really knew me, they
would reject me".
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The above list is in no particular
order, and I could as easily of made it much longer. Most
of the effects that I have listed I have taken from my own life, though not all.
Suffice it to know that the effects of abuse are both
widespread and varied. Yet as complicated as your life
may appear, with many of the problems from the above
list, it is surprising how much they are largely
interconnected. Even more surprising is how quickly
sorting one of them out will largely sort out several of
your other problems. The key to it all appears, to me, to
be eradicating the guilt / self blame /shame triangle. To
try and address your problems one by one, without
removing the key-pin that holds them together will
undoubtedly fail. Unfortunately, on that I write from
years of experience. For years believing that the abuse
was my fault, feeling alone, feeling that it was only
females that got abused, so it was only punishment when
it happened to me, not really abuse, or it was my fault.
Now, I know that abuse happens all to frequently to
males. Although I as one person can not change the world,
by writing about myself, I may be able to change the
world for one person. I truly hope so.
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