What can I do to help support someone with eating disorders.

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How family members of a person recovering from an eating disorder can help.

© aest.org.uk



Recognize your limitations. Encourage your loved one to get skilled help. Anorexia and bulimia can have many health related problems, and can kill.

Remember, like many forums of self-harm, the eating disorder is often a symptom of what is wrong, and is not the main cause of distress its self. Often eating disorders can in fact be a coping strategy, especially for those with a past history of childhood/teenage abuse. There is a difference between emotional eating disorders and anorexia / bulimia.

Accept the other person's right to an independent life. Don't take charge however tempting it can be.

Don't purchase (or avoid purchasing) food solely to accommodate the person with the eating problems.

Each household member decides individually what he or she will or will not eat. No one should be forced to eat anything or be restricted in what can be eaten. This may mean short-term end to the whole family having the same meal content at the same time. I.e. We will all have fish and chips tonight for tea.

Don't make mealtimes a battleground. Keep discussion about food issues to a minimum.

Be willing to negotiate household chores involving food.

The person with the eating disorder is responsible for their behavior whenever it affects others.

Do not monitor someone else's behavior for them (even if you are invited to).

Do not use money to control another person's eating behavior.

Do not anticipate someone else's needs.

Don't make eating out a battle of the wills.

Do not comment about, someone's weight and looks.

Seek support for yourself as well as your partner. It can be en emotionally draining time for you both. 
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partners.aest.org.uk is a part of the Abused Empowered Survive Thrive group of sites,
and has been providing support for survivors of childhood sexual abuse since march 1997