How can I find my innerchild ?

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This is a question that comes up a lot.

How exactly do you go about trying to find your inner child?

The first step has to be admitting to yourself that you have one.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, both survivors and non-survivors have an inner child, after all, we were all children once!

Unfortunately, though, as adult survivors, we have probably blocked our inner child from our thoughts. We did not like what we had to endure as children, and so forget we ever were children. Much like when we were children, we blocked out the bad things that happened to us. If we don’t acknowledge them, we can pretend they are not there, however we all know that pretending doesn’t make things go away, it just stops us thinking about it for a while.
 
So, now you have accepted that you have an inner child, how do we go about finding him/her?
Some people say looking at photos of when you were a child could help, but personally, playing games, singing songs, watching videos of children’s films I was never allowed to watch, and thinking of some of the things I used to enjoy as a child helped. (See ‘Ideas to Help Your Little Feel Loved and Wanted’ for more ideas)
 
Just think of anything you liked to do, or maybe a special place you liked to go, or a favorite toy . Let your inner child tell you all about the happy memory. Encourage them to tell you more. Listen to them giggle about their own little secrets they had from all the grown ups, and always give plenty of ‘inner’ hugs . This will help your inner child know that you are there to listen, to appreciate their conversations, and that you enjoy spending time with them. This will help to build the trust between you, and allow you to become friends.
 
Your inner child has been hidden a long time. They never grew up, and will still feel the way you did as a child. They will think their feelings aren’t allowed to be expressed, and are unimportant. They may not know how to express their feelings, or understand that they are now allowed to. They will feel they are unimportant themselves and will still believe the lies they were told. All these things you have to bear in mind, and slowly encourage them to express the way they feel/think.
 
Try not to delve too deep into your inner child's secrets. They probably will be very suspicious of your motives for a while, as they have always been let down by adults. They are the child that you once were, with all the feelings you had then. Try not to ask too many questions, but allow them to talk to you.
 
Once you learn to love and care for your inner child, dealing with their traumatic memories will become an easier task. 



first written by Twilight  (aest forums member/moderator)
with help from Moonbeam (innerchild)

How can I find my inner child?

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This section is currently been updated. Some pages will have moved or may look different.

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